Managing Former Peers

One day, you’re in the group chat.
The next day, you’re running the meeting.

Managing former peers is one of the most delicate leadership transitions—and most new managers underestimate how tricky it can be.

The shift is emotional and relational, not just functional.
What used to be casual now carries weight. What used to be safe might now feel scrutinized.

It takes intentionality, empathy, and clarity to navigate it well.

Why it matters:

• Culture: Your transition sets the tone for how leadership is perceived

• Performance: Confusion about roles and authority can stall progress

• Trust: Mishandled, it creates tension instead of alignment

What most managers overlook:

They try to either stay “one of the team” or assert authority too fast.
Neither works.

What the team really needs is someone who’s clear, fair, and consistent—not someone pretending nothing has changed or suddenly acting like a boss from a TV sitcom.

When Roz Brewer became COO at Starbucks, she emphasized relational leadership while establishing clear operational expectations. Her success came from bridging the personal with the professional—not choosing one over the other.

How to get it right:

• Acknowledge the shift. Don’t pretend nothing’s changed—it has

• Set expectations early. Define your role and theirs, and how you'll work together

• Be consistent. Fairness builds trust faster than friendship

• Keep 1:1s sacred. This is where you reconnect, recalibrate, and rebuild

Do:
✅ Talk about the change openly
✅ Stay approachable—but lead with clarity
✅ Let your actions earn respect over time

Don’t:
❌ Avoid conflict to preserve relationships
❌ Favor former friends
❌ Expect everything to feel the same

You earned the role.
Now it’s time to earn their trust in your new one.